And most of all, I will not grow up.

Emily. Twenty. Student, polyglot in training, angry undercover punk. Making eczema my bitch slowly but surely.

(via g-4-gnome)

My parents sent me this on Skype tonight.

Still can’t get over the fact that they’ve made a drama a) filmed at Keele Uni which is like five minutes from the house I grew up in, and where my mum worked when I was little, and b) there are actually actors on the TV with my accent, after years of being told that I don’t speak ‘good English’.

Can’t wait to watch it.

You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.

Unknown English Teacher (via memewhore)

How can we start a retirement plan

(via lacostume)

(via iamtherealfrankturner)

polyglotinprogress:

i have way too much fun with german siri. 

hate hate hate being told people are going out 15 minutes before they leave

i am a loser with no life, i’m in fucking bed watching movies at half 11 no i don’t want to get up to go drinking when i have no money

daniel-ley:

theworkofstuart:

tessaviolet:

bekah-bo0m:

broccoleafveins:

Ye olde Windows screen savers.

I FEEL OLD

childhood video games

THIS

oh my god

(via icannotbreatheyouin)

zeekayart:

a guide for people who can’t tell the 90s from the early 2000s apart

  • if people are dressed in neon, it’s the 90simage
  • if people are dressed in space age metallics, it’s the 2000simage

(via youremyfavouritemovie)

tim-parker:

The new, patented, Mary Berry Cake Baking Failure Rating System. Running from the ubiquitous 'It's a little bit dry', right through to the death-knell of shop-bought fondant, Mary has an expression for any baking malady.

Website

(via englishboys-withbanjos)